


Scar Tissue that I Wish You Saw

by Sway



Category: Castle (TV 2009)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Locker Room, M/M, Oral Sex, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-09
Updated: 2010-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:41:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24965395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sway/pseuds/Sway
Summary: Esposito had noticed the scars a while ago when they changed in the locker room. It wasn't until then, that he realized that Ryan usually avoided changing in public.
Relationships: Javier Esposito/Kevin Ryan
Kudos: 20





	Scar Tissue that I Wish You Saw

**Title:** Scar Tissue that I Wish You Saw  
 **Author** : Sway ([](https://xheartrockx.livejournal.com/profile)[ **xheartrockx**](https://xheartrockx.livejournal.com/) )  
 **Rating:** NC-17 for sexual situations  
 **Challenge/Prompt:** _Ryan/Esposito: Scars. Making scars, or old scars--some sort of fascination with them._ posted by [](https://tseecka.livejournal.com/profile)[**tseecka**](https://tseecka.livejournal.com/) at [](https://castlekink.livejournal.com/profile)[**castlekink**](https://castlekink.livejournal.com/) // _body alteration/injury_ for [](https://kink-bingo.livejournal.com/profile)[**kink_bingo**](https://kink-bingo.livejournal.com/) // part of my [](https://castleland.livejournal.com/profile)[**castleland**](https://castleland.livejournal.com/) Big Bang Alt (prompt: "secret")  
 **Timeline/Genre:** no particular setting, takes places after an imaginative episode  
 **Word Count:** 2,033  
 **A/N/Disclaimer:** Castle and the characters of the show don't belong to me. I just play with them. The title is from the song “Scar Tissue” by Red Hot Chili Peppers  
 **Beta** : none, please kindly point out any typos to me  
 **Summary:** Esposito had noticed the scars a while ago when they changed in the locker room. It wasn't until then, that he realized that Ryan usually avoided changing in public.

  
**Scar Tissue that I Wish You Saw**

Esposito had noticed the scars a while ago when they changed in the locker room. It wasn't until then, that he realized that Ryan usually avoided changing in public. That he had, in fact, only seen him once without his shirt on. Without pants, yes. In an undershirt, tank or t-shirt, yes. But never in just his slacks. Somehow Ryan managed to change when no one was paying attention, or he would change in the restroom or just stay in his dress shirt, even though they were going out playing with their guns.

He was very sneaky about it, given that Esposito had completely forgotten about it until now.

Two days ago, they had gotten into a bit of rough and tumble with a bunch of drug dealers and one of them had pulled a knife on Ryan, stabbing him in the shoulders. The detective had a bandage around his chest and back, keeping a thick pad of gauze over the wounds. It wasn't a life-threatening wound but bad enough to keep the cop at his desk for the next two weeks.

Usually, being confined at the precinct would have Ryan edgy, even grumpy. He had trouble sitting still for longer amounts of time. If he was forced to stay at his desk for any period of time, he would no doubt surf endless amounts of pointless websites, filled with even more pointless trivia which he would then share with Esposito whether he wanted to hear it or not. At least, that's what he had expected.

Instead, his partner was uncharacteristically silent.

“Hey, Esposito, can I ask a favor?” Ryan asked, not looking up from this file. His voice was very quiet and if their desks hadn't been back to back, Esposito wouldn't have heard him at all.

“Go ahead,” the detective replied without hesitation.

“My shoulders needs redressing.” Ryan didn't finish the question and he didn't need to. They were partners long enough for these questions to be left unasked.

“Sure.”

*

Ryan locked the door to the locker room behind them, after he had made sure it was empty. He moved slowly about the room, avoiding Esposito's eyes. From his locker, he took a fresh bandage and gauze, then started to unbutton his shirt. Lifting his arm up to his neck must have hurt and he winced.

“Let me.” Esposito stepped up to him, invading his personal space. Ryan tried to pull away from him but bumped into his locker, wincing even more. “You okay?” Javier eyed his partner as he worked on the buttons of the powder-blue shirt.

“Yeah. Just hurts,” Ryan replied, his gaze darting up for a second. His eyes shone very blue, the color of the shirt adding to the effect.

Esposito nodded, not pushing any further. He ordered his partner to turn around so he could pull the shirts off his shoulders without causing him any more pain. His fingers shied away from the bandages when he noticed the scars.

Most of them were pale and faded, some barely visible. A handful of circular spots were scattered over his shoulder blade. Where those cigarette burns? The most prominent ones were pink-ish lines zigzagging over his lower back, some disappearing beneath the waistband of his pants.

Biting back the question, Esposito started loosening the bandages, exposing the nasty gash in Ryan's shoulder. It, too, would leave a scar but at least this one was closed by a neat suture. Quietly, he redressed the wound, then started wrapping the bandages around his partner's chest. He held it in place, as Ryan secured it on his chest.

As he pulled back from him, his fingertips brushed over the scared tissue and Ryan sucked in a breath. Gooseflesh ran down his back and he shivered. He wanted to ask where he had gotten them but the words got stuck in the back of his throat. A terrible suspicion dawned on him, one he didn't dare think all the way to the end.

As the silence was about to become even more uncomfortable, Ryan spoke. “Those are from my dad. He... had a bit of a temper.”

Esposito let out a breath. “Kev...”

Ryan glanced over his shoulder, shutting him up. “My sisters would get into all sorts of girl trouble, staying out late, hanging with boys they shouldn't hang with. But they were daddy's girls. And whatever anger he might have for them... he took it out on me. All it took was for me to... stand up for myself, to speak my mind and...and he'd just snap. You could never be sure when...," he paused as his voice got heavy and he had to swallow before he continued. "Sometimes he even made me pick the rod.”

Javier just stared at his partner. They knew each other for years but this was the first time he heard this story. And some part of him wished he hadn't. Now he understood why Ryan tried avoiding changing in front of others. In that way, locker rooms were all the same. There would be talk, maybe even laughter or name-calling. Things like this spread in the precinct like wildfire. No matter how manly all the guys pretended to be, if there was a story to tell they might as well have a contest about who was the biggest blabbermouth.

“I don't know why I never told you but...”

“It's alright.” Now it was Esposito's turn to interrupt. Then he realized he still had his fingertips lingering against the scarred skin of Ryan's back. Before he could stop himself, he let his fingers drift over the pink lines, tracing them all the way down to his waistband.

Part of him expected Ryan to pull away from him, to put on his shirt and leave. But he didn't. He even took half a step back and into the touch.

“When did it stop?” Esposito asked, his hand still ghosting over the sensitive flesh. He didn't know why he did it, an odd fascination made him do it.

Ryan's voice was quivering a little as he spoke. “When I joined the forces and moved out.”

“Damn,” Javier breathed. “I had no idea.”

“You're the only one who knows.” Ryan turned around to him. “And you can't tell anyone.”

“Secret's save with me, bro.” He tried to smile, tried to ignore even more circular burn marks that peppered Ryan's chest and stomach.

“Thanks.” Ryan closed the gap between them and pulled Esposito into a half-hug, given he could only move one arm properly.

When they pulled apart, Esposito still had his eyes fixed on the part where their bodies had touched, the part where a very prominent hard-on was tenting Ryan's slacks. The cop blushed violently.

“It's... uhm,” he tried to explain, fumbling for words, but Esposito shut him with a kiss.

He knew what had triggered the erection. It was only part sexual arousal, the other part was the rush adrenaline caused by the pain of the injury. There had been a few times after a brawl with some scumbag after which he had to relieve himself. It was yet another things left unsaid, something nobody liked to talk about without risking getting laughed at.

What he didn't know what had triggered the kiss. And why he was still kissing his partner. And why his partner was kissing him back.

But there they were, standing in the locker room with Ryan having one arm around his neck, and him having his hand in the small of Ryan's back, pulling him as flush against him as his other wandering hand would allow.

Ryan all but bit his lip as Esposito's hand cupped him through his slacks, moaning into his mouth as their tongues met. From there, all of it became a blur and Esposito would wonder later who was on the pain meds, he or his partner.

With skilled fingers, he undid the fly of Ryan's slacks, slipping his hand beneath the fabric. The blonde went on tiptoes, leaning into the touch.

“What are you doing?” Ryan panted as he pulled back for air. The bright blue of his eyes had made way for the darkness of desire and lust.

“I don't know,” Esposito replied truthfully. He had no clue what he was doing but whatever it was it felt right. “Sit down.”

Gently, he pushed Ryan down on one of the benches, kneeling down by his feet. Somewhere along the way, he had opened his pants all the way, tugging them down over his butt and knees. It was close to a miracle, that they both didn't trip and tumble to the floor.

Ryan stared at him in disbelieve, a feeling that wasn't too different from what Esposito was feeling himself. Anything close to this had never crossed his mind before but seeing those scars, hearing Kevin's story, touching him... it all had charged up the tension between, tipping the scale between being best friends and doing each other a sexual favor. They had already broadened the horizon of the friendship tonight, pushing it a little further wouldn't change things any more than they were already changing.

Gently, Esposito tugged on Ryan's boxers, pulling them down far enough to expose his cock. A tiny drop of pre-cum was already oozing from the tip as he closed his hands around his length, carefully stroking him. Ryan cursed under this breath and had to keep himself from letting out an actual yelp as Esposito's mouth closed over him.

Javier had never done with before and he choked a little as he swallowed his partner's cock. The strangest sensation washed over him and he felt his own cock twitch. His fingers closed around the base of Ryan's cock as he started bobbing up and down over it, the tip hitting the back of his throat.

Ryan's hand went into the back of his neck, clawing at his scalp, gently directing his motions. He was babbling incoherently, mixing words with moans. He was getting close already. He usually wasn't that easy to please but this was different from anything he had ever experienced. Maybe it was because Esposito, being a guy, knew exactly what he was doing, knew where to put his hands, which roll of his tongue was driving him right over the edge.

Esposito looked up at him, their eyes meeting, as though he was asking for permission. As an answer, Ryan bucked up into his mouth. A few more strokes up and down his length, a few more sucks and licks and her came into partner's mouth.

It took Esposito a little by surprise and he spilled some of Ryan's spendings. As he pulled back from him and sat back on his heels, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Silence stretched between them, except for Ryan's heavy panting.

“You okay?” Javier asked then, reaching for a towel at the bottom of Ryan's locker to help him clean himself up.

Ryan had to swallow to be able to form any word. All he could say was: “Yeah.” He still looked a little dazed and even more confused. Before he realized what he was doing, this fingers wrapped around Esposito's wrist, holding his hand in place where he was wiping a little dribble off his thigh. With a slight tug, he motioned his partner to sit beside him. His gaze was anywhere but on the other man.

When he spoke, his voice was still a little hoarse but more firm then before. “I... uhm... need those bandages redressed later tonight.”

A smile tugged on Esposito's lips. “I could come over. You still owe me a Madden re-match.”

Ryan glanced at him ever so briefly. “Yeah, I'd like that.”

Esposito grinned. He almost sighed in relief that they were having this casual conversation now, despite... well, whatever that had been just now. He put an arm around his friend's healthy shoulder. “You got it, bro.” He gave Kevin's shoulder a light squeeze. “I got you.”  



End file.
